WHEN YOU FEEL AWKWARD TO SOMEONE
OVERVIEW
Being awkward means you feel uneasy when someone is around. It is also defined as, "someone who is clumsy or a situation which is uncomfortable." Regardless of the definition, I believe that we all do have experience in an awkward situation.
When you're too close with someone, you're not really ashamed to say or do anything. I mean, you act natural and everything feels comfortable. You have that mutual affection, that is being free, open, and intimate to someone.
However, in a little while, looks like everything has changed. Without recognizing it, all of a sudden, you feel the awkwardness towards your friend or maybe a family member. There's a feeling of shame holding you back from opening up and interacting, you'd rather stay alone and be silent.
Well, what happened?
What happened to those little moments you shared and cherished together? What has gone wrong? Do you still remember the good old days, wherein just a glance and you already know what's in his/her mind! That's the gift of friendship, right! And this is not only pertaining to a friend-friend. This applies as well to your siblings, cousins, parents, or anyone near to your heart.
And how does it feel to be awkward? Not good, right? You're probably missing the days you're chatting in about things and just happily enjoying the relationship, not afraid, not hiding anything, not ashamed.
I've experienced this thing so many times, and believe me, I hate it when I feel so distant from those people who are so close to my heart, our important connections. And sometimes, we don't know how it happened. We are not aware. The reality is, it didn't just happen.
JOYCE RACHELLE says:
"It's only awkward if it matters."
HOW TO DEAL WITH AWKWARD FEELINGS
Do you want your import relationships to be restored? Off course! Before it got worse. Know how to overcome and completely eliminate the 'Awkwardness'!
There are things that you can do, here's what works best for me:
1. EVALUATE THE SITUATION
It says that it is only awkward when it matters. So meaning something happened! Try to recall, what did you do? Have you say bad words or offended the other one, or vice versa, maybe you've been hurt or offended. Maybe you're hiding something or you're too proud to admit that things didn't turn out well when you decided to make a decision of your own.
When you know what's right and you're heading in the wrong direction. It is often accompanied by fear and lack of confidence. The result is awkwardness and being afraid to be vulnerable to someone. You don't want others to see your true colors. Be reminded that, violators of the law will never have peace.
Either it's your fault or not, what important is that you're aware of it. When we're conscious of the root cause, it's much easier to understand and solve the complications.
2. START THE CONVERSATION, HUMBLE YOURSELF
DAVID LEVITHAN says:
"You’d think that silence would be peaceful. but really, it’s painful."
CORY BASIL says:
"Sometimes the silence is the loudest thing in the room."
This is very important if you want to restore your important relationships. Even if you didn't do anything wrong. Start the conversation, say sorry, lower your pride. I suppose, at the back of your mind, you can think of the situation when it all started. Apologize and open it up. After you evaluate the circumstances, you can actually think of the solution to the problem. And it all takes courage and humility to talk first. But when you do, you'll be surprised that everything will turn out in your favor. Cause God knows your heart desires, and when we humble ourselves, He backs us up. It is said in:
PROVERBS 28:13-14
"He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. Happy is the man that feareth always: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief."
Confession often leads to reconciliation. It is not easy at first, it'll make you uncomfortable but I guarantee you that it is the right thing to do. Besides, Jesus always teaches us to love our enemies, be humble, and do good to them. It is said in:
PROVERBS 15:1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
3. BE SINCERE
What does it mean to be sincere? It means being genuine and honest. Have you ever encounter a person who apologizes for a mistake and yet feels like it wasn't real. People know when it's fake.
I experienced this myself. I tend to say sorry and be mad at the same time. What an insincere person! I know, that sounds not good, but that's the reality. I had an anger issue, pride issue, heart issue, I'm not perfect but I'm delighted that I'm being changed gradually by my Maker day by day.
CRISS JAMI says:
"Friends ask you questions; enemies question you."
I agree with this saying! There's a difference between being asked and being questioned. And I believe that when you become truthful to the other person, they will surely appreciate you, regardless of what you did. And even if it not, you'll still experience the peace that surpasses all understanding, God's peace. As it is written:
JOHN 8:32
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
PHILIPPIANS 4:7
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
4. SPEAK YOUR HEART TO GOD, PRAY
And yes, this is the best that we can do. I always include prayers when giving practical advice to my blog. It is just I cannot live without communicating with God. In prayer, we are allowing the Lord to gain control of every situation in our lives. Let's admit it, we cannot do anything apart from Him. And our security is not in other people's hands, our security is in the hands of the one who made us.
Whenever I am awkward to someone. I always take time to pause and evaluate what went wrong. I started to understand the real cause of the misunderstanding. And I pray that the Lord shall restore what had been broken. And the Lord is always faithful to answer my prayers. Because the Lord is the author of relationships, He doesn't want to harm us or destroy our connections. And He is pleased when we pray for others. It is said in:
JOB 42:10
"When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes, giving him twice as much as before."
PROVERBS 27:9
"Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence."
FINAL THOUGHTS
And if you'll ask me? Do all these things effective? Try for yourself! These are all that I've learned and I was able to overcome that awkwardness. Now, I am so happy celebrating life with my loved ones and friends, not so free from problems but at least I know now what to do when I encounter the same issues again. As the saying goes, "Don't commit the same mistakes twice!"
I cannot guarantee you that you will be free from all the uncomfortable feelings in this world. That's why we have the Bible as the Manual of our Life. Remember that everyone is unique and has its own flaws and beauty.
SO WHEN YOU FEEL AWKWARD
BE TRUTHFUL, FIRST, TO YOURSELF
AND DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP
WITH A SINCERE AND A GENTLE HEART
THE LORD IS FAITHFUL TO LIFT YOU UP
♥♥♥
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